Casino Capitalism

Capitalism baby, capitalism

I played a few irresponsible hands this weekend. I played my hands according to my expectations on the returns relative to the risks involved. Some I won and some I lost. However, after each loss, I would stop to readjust my behavior. I definitely did not look around expecting someone to bail me out for, say, $700 B.

I thought about how crony capitalism is quite similar to gambling. I look at the financial market and the entire concept of securities, futures, and speculation of the market is really no different from gambling.

Greed promotes the mentality that it is only irresponsible if you lose. This mentality and the resulting behavior are supposed to be corrected by losing. Can you imagine how people in Las Vegas will play if they thought they would be bailed out?

Again, it's socialized risk for the fat cats and market discipline for everyone else. Christmas for them and Festivus for the rest of us!

The Bush Who Cried Wolf One Too Many Times

Aesop

Now Bush can't even get his own party to support his plan.

The sad thing is, Bush might be correct this time. We might really be in a crisis and his plan might really be the urgent solution we need to put off disaster. But no one buys his cry for help anymore. Credibility is all dried up.

Wall Street tanked 700+ points, the single largest drop in a day. Is McCain going to suspend his run for the White House?

Palinomics 101

Ohhh.... NOW I get it

So, in trying to make sense of Palin's senseless babble, I found Zubin Jelveh's flow chart quite helpful.

Uh... and where was Palin post debate with all her support of her running mate??

What are you babbling about??!?

Facepalm of the week

Here's more of Palin's interview with Couric. Katie's eyes betray what she's thinking. This is going to be a tough facepalm to top next week.

I had to dig out the transcript to figure out what she's saying. I read it twice and still have no clue.

Be it nerves or a lack of understanding on the economic situation, this woman is not fit for the job she's running for.

Going to be busy the next several days.

So painful...

Moose in headlights

This is just too painful to watch. I wanted to look away so many times.

I don't blame the McCain campaign for imposing a media blackout on Sarah Palin. She can't seem to stand on her own without a script.

Then again, as far as Vice Presidents go, we have more access to Sarah Palin than we do to Dick Cheney.

Dear Leader fakes health and nuclear crisis to be on set of Team America II

Harro!

With North Korea removing IAEA inspection seals at the Yongbyon site in preparation to restart nuclear operations, the intelligence community is debating how reports of the Dear Leader's disappearance from the public eye is related.

"While most reports indicate that Kim Jun Il has suffered some kind of health related setback," said CIA Director Michael Hayden, "Variety is reporting that both the reports on his health and the recent nuclear provocations are just to distract the public from the specifics of Team America II."

Since going into production in 2008, Team America II has been shrouded in secrecy. "Even we don't know what the script is about," admitted a visibly defeated Hayden. However, Variety seemed to have landed an inside scoop.

"We can't get into specifics, but we have reliable sources that confirm Kim Jung Il will not only be lending his voice to the Kim Jung IL puppet like in Team America, but he will also be the puppeteer of his own puppet this time around," reported Variety.

While most of the world is concerned with the continuation of nuclear activities on the Korean peninsula, Variety suggested that the world should not worry because it has something to do with the filming of Team America II and not with escalating international tension and regional instability.

The DPRK declined to comment.

Circular reasoning is always good for a laugh

Indisputable evidence

This is what happens when you hit The Immovable Object with the Unstoppable Force.

In short, we can't show you evidence of our violation of the a prisoner's rights under the Geneva Convention because that in itself would be a violation of the Geneva Convention. HAHAHA! Brilliant! Who do lawyers hire to write their materials? Seriously, game over man, game over. Flawless victory.

Internetz

Epic

Justice served, internet style.

Rational consistency in politics or steep learning curve?

I'm learnding!

"I must tell you, there are those in the public debate who have said that we must act now. The last time I heard that, I was on a used-car lot," said Rep. Mike Pence, R-Indiana. "The truth is, every time somebody tells you that you've got to do the deal right now, it usually means they're going to get the better part of the deal."

Whew, glad we have politicians that have this mentality. Good thing he was around for the Patriot Act. Oh wait...

Hm... perhaps he exercised the same rational judgment when everyone was playing omg first to Iraq wins! Oh...

Well, I learn from my mistakes too. It's how I learn!

Here's the rest.

Politicians and technology don't mix

OMG LOL ASL?

Haha, good job Biden. I guess Eisenhower only knew about the military industrial complex because he read about it on Google. Oh, and by the way, it was Hoover that was in office when the stock market crashed in '29.

Don't worry Biden, I think people understood what you meant. It could have been worse. You could have been John McCain, who invented the Blackberry, so he can connect to Al Gore's internet, which according to Ted Stevens, is a series of tubes.

When bears attack... the economy

Bear so angry... but cuddly. Comforting embrace before INSTANT DEATH, guaranteed

Sarcasm.

Been hearing nothing but the urgency and expedience needed to get this bailout through. Whooaa, slow down, big boy. The American public only just met this crisis this week. I think the two kids need time to get to know each other better before they get all biblical on each other, don't you?

If we've learned anything from the Bush administration, it's that rushing along at breakneck speed isn't a problem if you claim there's some sort of national emergency. So... pass the "Banking Patriot Act."

I don't necessarily agree with Naomi Klein's shock doctrine, but as we've seen time and again, the effectiveness of its principles is undeniable. Here, we see Ms. Klein's theory applied to goats. Genius.

At least the the grilling of Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke on the hill today is coming from both sides of the political divide. No one likes this plan but everyone knows that they have to go along with it. They're just sounding off to spare themselves from the public's wrath. All of a sudden, everyone on the hill is a populist. Lou Dobbs is right to be mad. I also heard on NPR that Paulson is against limiting exec bonuses and golden parachutes for fear that the companies won't participate in the bailout plan. What nonsense. Don't worry though, those people will find a way to pay themselves, they always do. Ingenuity is the driving force of capitalism, after all.

The Big Picture

2000 called and would like their John McCain back, thanks

In the past 8 years, we have witnessed the failure of applied conservative theory all almost every arena. No wonder even the Republicans have to run on a platform of change. For foreign policy, I need only to mention countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Russia to scratch the surface. The administration in the branch of government that is supposed to be the defender of the constitution has instead been defending itself from it. I think I said enough on the economic end in the past couple of days.

In defense of conservatism, however, I would like to note that the incumbent conservatives are really not conservatives. They've strayed from the values of smaller government and fiscal responsibility to something unrecognizable. As of today, Ron Paul stands vindicated and that's all that needs to be said.

How did we get here? A combination of spin rhetoric mastery and an easily manipulated public. I worry for this country. Churchill put it best, "Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing... after they have exhausted all other possibilities." I fear we have yet to exhaust all the bad choices we have yet to make.

Things like this keeps me up at night

Resistance is futile

Because somtimes, one palm just isn't enough.

Heh, the title said FURY. Now laugh.

Brother of late Fight Club member confirms current financial crisis just a continuation of Project Mayhem

Treasury Secretary demonstrates his evil triangle of doom

Washington, DC -- Amidst the current financial crisis, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson appeared on the Sunday morning talk shows to assure the public that Project Mayhem is well underway. Secretary Paulson is better known as the brother of famed Fight Club member, Robert "bitch tits" Paulson, who lost his life serving the first Project Mayhem nearly a decade ago.

"My brother died for something he believed in. Now I will complete his dream, even if it means I'll meet the same end," said the Secretary as he choked back tears on this morning's Meet the Press.

"I'm not worried because in death," continued the Secretary, "a member of Project Mayhem has a name - and my name is Henry Paulson. I just wish Bob was here with us."

Fight Club president Tyler Durden implemented Project Mayhem in a bid to bring about anarchy through an orchestrated collapse of the credit system and the financial markets. Authorities only learned of Project Mayhem when Fight Club members turned themselves in upon learning their leader was a schizophrenic psychopath who "heard voices in his head" and shot himself in an attempt to quiet those voices.

Fight Club maintained an official policy of silence and thus authorities were unable to learn of Project Mayhem ahead of time to prevent the initial phases. "You don't talk about Fight Club. It just didn't happen," a former member was quoted.

By the time authorities caught on, several banks and investment firms were already demolished by explosives and an expensive corporate art piece had suspiciously ended up in a Star Bucks.

When asked about the specifics of Project Mayhem, Secretary Paulson explained, "Well, the idea is to completely destroy the financial and credit markets so that everyone can have a new start. While Mr. Durden tried to achieve this through terrorism, our approach has been completely legal and capitalistic. The current panic on Wall Street has brought the market to near ruins. I figured the only way this could get any worse is if the tax payers are punished by paying for the bailouts while we reward the financial executives of these troubled companies with millions for their flawless execution of Project Mayhem. This transfer of wealth will repeat through many other similar schemes we have lined up. It's bound to destroy the credit-worthiness of the United States sooner or later."

Many pundits believe there was more to Project Mayhem than the Secretary led on. Secretary Paulson's wink and promised that a President Sarah Palin will reward those who support the $700B bailout come January has left many speculating as to the exact scope of Project Mayhem.

Face Palm of the Week

When I say "Make it so," it means to get it right the first time

Here you go, the /facepalm of the week. Sigh.

Oh, by the way, the Secretary of Treasury made the Sunday morning talk show rounds to advocate the $700B handout the tax payers are about fork over to the financial industry. Yes, unfortunately, it is necessary. That said, I want to see heads roll this week, please. Here's what we know of the plan.

The problem has proven to be systemic yet we have only just begun to address the problem at the systemic level? Bear, Fred, Fan weren't enough to sound some alarms until last weekend with Lehman, Merrill and AIG?? I find this very hard to believe.

Thank you, Schumer and Frank, for at least demanding for some kind of accountability.

Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death

Wonder how much I could have sold it for on EBay had I not given it away for free

Once again, a foreign national has shown us that they know America better than America knows itself.

Andrew Sullivan put on quite a show on HBO's Real Time with Bill Mahr last night. I believe he hit it spot on when he argued that the founding fathers would rather die than abdicate the civil liberties that our fear of terrorism has cost this country. It reminded me just how powerful a statement Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death is.

Strangely, we don't need to go as far back as the colonial era to find this trait within the American identity. As recent as World War II the Greatest Generation still exhibited this American trait. Americans weren't asked to go out and shop after Pearl Harbor, they were asked to sacrifice and volunteer -- and they did! So how did sacrifice and the spirit of volunteerism become such a foreign concept to us? How did we lose this identity within a few short decades? If you ask me, I blame stuff.

Bush wants OK to spend $700B

Financial Execs toast public for early Christmas bailout

This was the headline I woke up to this morning. Ain't life grand for the execs that head these financial institutions? Not only do you bank millions in personal income, now you get public funding to save you from the mess you dug yourself into! If an individual makes poor financial decisions and can't make his payments, he's a deadbeat looking for a handout. If a corporation makes poor decisions and can't meet its financial obligations, it's a entrepreneurial institution in need of a bailout. Where's the accountability in all this? I don't mind the "too big to fail" idea behind bailouts, but why do these people get to keep their profits?

While I'm wondering why I can't be waking up to headlines that read Bush wants OK to spend $700B to forgive student loans, fund social security, health care, or veteran's benefits, the overpaid execs of the next financial institutions to fold must think it's Christmas morning! And what does Santa have for all the good boys and girls? Why it's privatized profits and socialized risk! How about the rest of us, Santa, what do you have? Ho ho ho, you get something special! Oh wait... wait... Hmm, looks like all that's left in my bag is raw capitalism and the harsh realities of free market discipline. High five, Santa!

At some point, the deregulators have to admit that when it comes to profit, there is no incentive for free markets to regulate themselves. Proper regulations are good and necessary - otherwise we'd be like China with lead in our toys, poison in our dairy products, and 16 of the 20 most polluted cities in the world. But what do they care? They're getting the same freebie bailout they hate other people for getting.

At least we can still console one another.